I struggled for a long time with my relationship with God. It seemed like we just weren’t communicating very well. I kept asking Him what direction I should go. What He wanted me to do with my life. Was this the right direction or this?
And I felt like I wasn’t getting any real guidance.
I always knew God was there. And that He was listening. I never doubted He was there. But I felt a little lost. And unsure. Like God was holding back on his answers. Or I wasn’t listening good enough. I couldn’t hear Him.
Because if I knew, for sure, that it was God telling me to do something, I’d do it. Not just me, or someone else telling me. But if it was God, I would do it.
And I worried about making decisions for my life story because I was afraid it would be the wrong decision. And it wouldn’t be God’s will. And I wouldn’t even know. I didn’t want to waste my time on things God didn’t want me to do. And I didn’t want to miss out on all these great plans God had in store for me. Because when you say “yes” to something, you also say “no” to something else. And I didn’t want to be saying “no” to the thing God actually wanted me to say “yes” to. Did you catch that?
So I was essentially doing nothing. Stalling. Waiting for the heavens to open and God to tell me what my next move was. In a fairly loud booming voice so I could hear over all the other life noise.
And then I was reminded of the following scripture.
“For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.
Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;
For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their inheritance”
Men and Women should be anxiously engaged in a good cause. The power is in THEM. When all is said and done, God just wants us to DO good. To BE good. And to be anxiously engaged in good things. And he’s okay with ME choosing what good things those are.
I’m working my way through the book “Storyline Finding Your Subplot in God’s Story” by Donald Miller. (worth every penny by the way)
Miller supports this idea that God has left a lot of the decision making up to us. If it makes our heart sing and we’re anxiously engaged in something good, that will save other souls, then go for it. He says:
“I don’t believe God has a specific plan for most people. I could be wrong, though, because there are several people in the Bible for whom God had a specific plan.
In fact, here’s a little checklist so you can know if God has a specific plan for your life.
According to the Bible, you know God has a specific plan for you if:
A. Your donkey (or any other animal, for that matter) talks to you
B. An angel appears before you and wakes you up because he’s so bright
C. You are a virgin but pregnant
Where did we get this idea God doesn’t speak clearly when He wants something? When I talk to people who believe God has a specific plan for their lives, they act like God is some kind of mystic weirdo talking to them through riddles and we are supposed to use the Bible like a secret decoder ring.
If God has a specific plan for your life, you’ll know it because He’ll tell you. According to the Bible, it will be very, very clear.
For the rest of us, the scary truth is we get to decide what we want to do with our lives. And we get to decide with God.”
He then goes on to say,
“I think we are spending a lot of time asking God to tell us what to do when the whole time He’s asking us what we’d like to do instead. I think He’s asking us what’s in our hearts, what makes us come alive, what ignites our passion and saves many lives.”
What makes me come alive? What’s in my heart? And how can I use that to save many souls?
Now this isn’t to say God doesn’t provide direction. Because I absolutely know He does. And He’ll give me little nudges to pursue certain things. And sometimes He’ll speak loudly about a path He wants me to pursue.
But He also allows me to figure out what makes me come alive, and then wants me to GO DO IT. And trust that God will put on the brakes if he needs me to go in a different direction.